tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-230502322024-03-07T14:59:46.792+08:00Joey Yang Sengal!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger350125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-51945049151514515442013-07-30T01:13:00.003+08:002013-07-30T01:13:38.269+08:00Aku Di dalam Mode Malas!<div style="text-align: justify;">
Hai everyone. Kembali lagi menulis. Dengan rasa malasnya, sebab xde idea. Sekarang nak sampai penghujung Ramadhan, and all you know I hate the Month. It just feels lonely, and hari-hariku cuma digunakan untuk berpuasa saja sebagai mengikuti amalan yang wajib bagi setiap seorang Muslim. Kadang-kadang, it always easy to do the puasa than sembahyang 5 waktu sehari semalam. I mean, puasa cuma sebulan sekali, and I wouldn't want to miss puasa, sebab nak bayar puasa tu susah weiii so lebih baik aku puasa. LoL. Melalutan sangat!</div>
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Hari-hari aku sekarang dah terbalik. Malam bagaikan burung pungguk, sibuk bermain komputer..dan siang pula aku abiskan dengan tidur.(Masa untuk penternakan beruang kutub..wakakaka). Semenjak jobless ni, itulah kerja aku hari-hari, nak keluar pun malas, lagipun bulan puasa, tak larat nak pegi mana-mana dan kadang kala hasrat terbantut disebabkan duit belum ada (Rasa geram sebab claim belum diproses oleh tempat kerja lama, so tunggu punya tunggu belum ada juga).</div>
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Anyway, I've started to send my resume to all relevant company yang I think I boleh buat kerja itu, and hopefully adalah yang tersangkut barang sekeping dua keping ker.hehehehe.</div>
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In the mean time, aku dalam mode malas!!</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-79947282182504617102013-06-17T06:05:00.000+08:002013-06-17T06:05:09.415+08:00I resign!<div style="text-align: justify;">
Saya sebenarnya sudah malas nak tulis blog. Lagipun, saya rasa kehidupan saya tiada apa yang menarik untuk saya tulis. Tidak seperti dahulu. Kadang-kadang terasa macam kosong, tapi I try to make fullnest of it.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFRmGOwwgATA-BVsySXCG632fl8sdyW-s-Lal0gy6iUoSPOJ0M2aAkLbX750qyFOPQ-kE3jqpqFW54qgb-v5cBvtSSSKgPtYX9n_c4yW_LBP_Sk6JQf4wr6Z6CGPErSWZPIVW0Yg/s1600/WC_271608_39_image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFRmGOwwgATA-BVsySXCG632fl8sdyW-s-Lal0gy6iUoSPOJ0M2aAkLbX750qyFOPQ-kE3jqpqFW54qgb-v5cBvtSSSKgPtYX9n_c4yW_LBP_Sk6JQf4wr6Z6CGPErSWZPIVW0Yg/s320/WC_271608_39_image.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Anyway, saya akan resign lagi sekali dari kerja sekarang. WHAT? Soalan yang selalu aku dapat ialah; Kenapa nak resign? Kerja tu kan dah secure, bagus dan bla bla bla. Hmmm, aku bagi jawapan dorang tak nak percaya pula. Jawapan aku mudah jer, aku tak nak tukar ke tempat yang jauh di pedalaman, even there is a small city there (amboi!!! demand dan perasan sungguh aku ini..hahahaha). Well, aku suka kerja ni, but I dont like it when they post me here. (Yer, aku kat tempat tu sekarang). So, I made my decision, hantar surat resign and next month I will be watching klcc again. Cari jer kerja lain. I guess my luck belum habis lagi, but rezeki untuk kerja kat this place sampai sini sahaja. </div>
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So, next month will be jobless for me. And, it's a long time since I terpaksa bangun pagi dan kelam kabut pergi kerja. Rehat sementara, sambil-sambil usha kerja yang menarik minat. Atau mungkin sambung belajar. It depends. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-55280059473087113602013-03-28T03:05:00.000+08:002013-03-28T03:05:19.762+08:00The Stage!<div style="text-align: justify;">
The thing is, it should be that in this stage of my life now, I should have someone that I could rely on, to be trusted. And it's kinda weird people at the very age is still a lone. Sometimes, when the question pop out, I always try to divert it, either make it funny or change the subject. And certainly doesn't want to be that particular person, where I can guess why they're not with someone. (Yes, radar).</div>
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Did I afraid of being committed for a long time? Maybe. I just think that I'm easily bored, and need someone that good enough to play some certain role. I still confuse at these time, the road still have a long way to go.</div>
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Perhaps the reason why I am not looking for someone probably because I'm too obsessed with myself. Where to gain money to pay all my debts, how to groom myself, how to this, how to that, bla bla bla..you get the drift.</div>
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P/S I dont even pass the first stage in Question of Life in Our Society, how do I move on?</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-20250194304472791932013-03-10T23:26:00.000+08:002013-03-10T23:26:03.375+08:00Kawan saya!<div style="text-align: justify;">
Actually, are you as friendly as you thought you are? Hari yang sudah, saya merewang di sebuah laman sosial. I came across a status saying that berbunyi lebih kurang macam ini lah " saya sedia berkawan dengan sesiapa saja tidak mengira status, bentuk dan rupa". Bunyinya biasa bukan? Ramai yang selalu kata macam ini. But truth to be told that hampir semua memilih kawan. We got to choose whoever we want to be accompanied kan? Sampai ada pepatah bercakap kalau nak tengok seseorang itu tengoklah rakan-rakan dia.</div>
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I admitted that it's hard for me to be friend with anyone. I might be friendly, but not everyone can get to the second layer off my heart (ceh!). Sometime the reason is, whenever I think that someone could be my best friend, I always being dissapointed. Mungkin harapan saya terlalu tinggi, but I just want to be buddy as macam orang lain. Yang bila mana esok hujung minggu, mengajak saya keluar bersama-sama. Then, it would not happen. I guess everyone have their personal things to do, so I put off any hope to get that one too. Sekarang ini, kalau mahu sesuatu, haruslah membuatnya atau mendapatkan sendiri. <br />
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Saya rasa saya ringkas. Mungkin. Tapi di pandangan orang lain, I'm awkward. </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-70888988961688754632013-02-04T00:32:00.001+08:002013-02-04T00:32:49.266+08:00Perbandingan!<div style="text-align: justify;">
Hai everyone. Masih belum terlewat (atau memang sudah lewat pun) untuk mengucapkan selamat tahun baru. Semoga tahun ni memberi harapan yang baik untuk anda semua. It seems a little bit busy, with course that I have to attend (that will take half of this year), but I feel good.</div>
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Perbandingan. Comparation. Ada kala kita terfikir, kenapa hidup kita tak sebaik dia yang kita lihat? Grass will always greener on the other side, no matter how carefully we trim it. Dan adalah satu konsep yang salah, bila perbandingan dibuat kepada mereka yang certainly di bawah standard anda. I mean if I am a rich guy, buat apa aku nak bandingkan diri aku dengan orang miskin? Selalunya bila perbandingan, mestilah orang tu lebih baik dan lebih kaya serta lebih hensem dari saya. Perbandingan dengan yang di bawah standard anda are totally not acceptable.</div>
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Sebab tu konsep bersyukur menggunakan perbandingan dengan yang bawah standard adalah sometimes tidak berkesan. For me, it wont work. I have what he/she dont have, buat apa nak banding2 dan berasa jealous?</div>
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The best way is just to ignore whatever person that come by, tidak terlalu berfikir sangat dan at the end of the day you just want to make yourself happy. Sekian, merapu di awal tahun. LoL.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-30692450434173875882012-12-26T00:22:00.002+08:002012-12-26T00:22:45.395+08:00The Last Post of the Year!<div style="text-align: justify;">
Hi there. It's been long since I talk here, right. I always remember my ramblings here, just that my passion for blogging is not up to the where it used to be, so macam malaslah nak update. Maybe too much happy for the moment being, sebab tu tak banyak keluh kesah sangat. hahahahahaha.</div>
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Life for this previous months was certainly different that what I used before, and you never know, because when you think you're down with all sort of problems, suddenly, all were fixed, your plan was finally berjalan, and I'm glad that something that I wish before will be going in the new year!!</div>
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I realized now that, I, actually, underneath the shyness personality, I do have a very people-friendly attitude. A good one! Now it's just need to hold that confidence longer because I tend to think that I am wrong the whole time. Well, it's not easy for someone who doesn't have some expertise to begin with to have some confidence in life. It needed to be encourage.</div>
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My year start with how loser am I, but the end? not so loser I think. I will keep continue to improve myself, whether in style, communication and most definitely my confidence. That's all. </div>
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p/s Happy New Year everyone!!!!</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-1624325293300129142012-10-20T01:33:00.000+08:002012-10-20T01:33:10.256+08:00Pengurangan stress!<div style="text-align: justify;">
Hey there everyone! How's life? For me, It's quite not super duper stress. LoL. English tiga kali satu sembilan sangat. Hahaha. By the way, memang dah lama saya tak tulis kat sini. The reason is my laptop dah takde. I sold it. (Asyik lag jer memanjang, lambat, mungkin sudah tiba masanya membeli laptop baru yer).</div>
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Well, sepatutnya mungkin boleh update pakai my new Ipad, tapi apa kesusahnyer nak menaip pakai skrin sentuh. Mungkin Ipad ni sesuai main game macam Coin Dozer kot. LoL.<br />
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As I mention before this, I have a new job. and juga a new crib. It's been long since I been living by myself. (Rasa macam kepala stress sangat duduk sesorang ni. Almaklumlah takde sapa nak cakap. Almari tu la kawan kau). Now, in my new crib, I have not one, or even three tapi 4 housemates sekaligus. Nasib baik, all my housemates semua jenis selamba, which makes me feel comfortable dengan dorang. I like my new crib now. :)</div>
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Syukur juga kepada Tuhan. Financial burden semuanya dah selesai walaupun masih ada tapi stress memikir dah tiada lagi, begitu juga panggilan hangit dari ehem ehem. My next target is, automobile. Have to ada sebelum 2012 dunia berakhir (kata iklan syampu Clear). I mean if you want to catch up with others, got to have lah walaupun tangan dan kaki ku tak pasti lagi how am I going to drive nanti. </div>
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p/s this is suppose to be last month entry. Malas nak publish hehehe.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-78685447808010832872012-08-13T05:51:00.003+08:002012-08-16T01:25:58.974+08:00To Let Loose of Myself!<div align="justify"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ7fZReD7ARLSsTllQgjc5y63YUHKcqj1QJDmMPVJxBulmWvKJzS5sn9lXJGTa0a1EwjrsfmcnLbrNWoL_myt8UUMOBHtDX5LA1lEdZM3bvROSDhTmSlL2jKtHXqK0x9uKosFVdw/s1600/marcia_cross2.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ7fZReD7ARLSsTllQgjc5y63YUHKcqj1QJDmMPVJxBulmWvKJzS5sn9lXJGTa0a1EwjrsfmcnLbrNWoL_myt8UUMOBHtDX5LA1lEdZM3bvROSDhTmSlL2jKtHXqK0x9uKosFVdw/s320/marcia_cross2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5776952249690338146" border="0" /></a></div><br /><div align="justify">Damn. It's not easy to write something here. Thing is, you got some rough idea what you want to write, tapi malangnya those ideas cannot be converted to words easily. There you are, dah minggu terakhir ramadhan, which is finally yeay! I did mention I love the earlier ramadhan, but towards the end, I think I still going to hate it. hahaha.<br /><br />I realize how I change these days. I likely to control myself over everything, even though I know that I should let loose all the way. Every time I meet new friends, I try to be poise, not to speak much voice and acting strangely just to minimize people talking about me. Yeah, I'm kinda stupid to think too much about how people will think about me, because they actually never talk about me!! Still, I can't get out my paranoia thingy, (yes sometimes I burn all the bills with my name at it, just to make sure people dont do identity theft, Bangang kan!)<br /><br />More and more I become Bree Van De Kamp. If you see her character through out the show, she try to be morally acceptable and try to control herself in front of her friends and neighbors. But we all know behind close doors, lot of nasty and naughty thing that she does. I'm thinking, now that is me. I just realized that.<br /><br />I think it's part of my personalities pula. I don't know why I never try to let loose, even though I know people don't even care about it.<br /><br />That's all. Anyway, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, everyone. Forgive me, if I write something that hurt your feelings.<br /><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-81760084849631936452012-07-22T00:06:00.002+08:002012-07-22T00:25:30.479+08:00Bulan Berpuasa!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFi3Oy100oyAKkxvJivJH6AexX1HzeT5pQTowqUTlE8QM-o3rOatNQb1_bp7JiznSoTBbNxrzz5nD7hZ7MN7dSFFn9rkJsBWEt2pgzNo7EsgEdp6Tx7W9KNIyOuSw5Pm92vbvt/s1600/ramadan.gif"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 550px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFi3Oy100oyAKkxvJivJH6AexX1HzeT5pQTowqUTlE8QM-o3rOatNQb1_bp7JiznSoTBbNxrzz5nD7hZ7MN7dSFFn9rkJsBWEt2pgzNo7EsgEdp6Tx7W9KNIyOuSw5Pm92vbvt/s1600/ramadan.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Alhamdulillah, dapat juga sampai ke bulan Ramadhan tahun ni. Tak tahu kenapa macam terasa lain kali ini. Kalau ikutkan, I never really like Ramadhan, to be talked about. But now, rasa macam ada ketenangan, walaupun baru sehari.<br /><br />Mungkin sebab I left my job <span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">(</span>I never thought I will be able to change my direction, I believe I will be forever in that job<span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">)</span>, seriously macam all the beban was lifted through my shoulders. Although the pay was slightly lower than my previous company<span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);"> (</span>tapi jumlah keseluruhan mcm lebih tinggi sedikit. hahaha<span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">)</span>, I am still happy because I do think there are path on progresssing more towards succesfullness of me <span style="color: rgb(102, 51, 102);">(</span>LoL<span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">)</span>.<br /><br />At my current job now <span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">(</span>which is still in training mode<span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">)</span> everyone was so curious why I left the company <span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">(</span>which is one of the biggest and proudest company in Malaysia<span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">)</span>. I don't know what to say. Something have to be kept to look professional, but I just say lack of promotional for all the work I've done made me change my mind.<br /><br />In the mean time, I will need to find another crib <span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">(</span>room to be exact<span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">)</span>, to symbolize a change in my life direction. <span style="color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">(</span>sebenarnya dah bosan duduk umah skrg, so nak cari umah yang ada housemate. A lonely one needs to talk to somebody too :) <span style="color: rgb(153, 51, 153);">)</span><br /><br /><br /><br />P/S Nak mencuba menambahkan amalan sedikit demi sedikit. Tidak mahu terlalu extreme, but one step at a time.<br /><br /><br /><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-15262712209516654562012-06-25T00:00:00.002+08:002012-06-25T00:00:05.379+08:00This is It!<div style="text-align: justify;">I have a resolution. Temporary resolution. Ada ker di pertengahan tahun baru nak buat resolution? Hahahaha.<br /><br />By the way, my resolution is just simple. Until I get my feet standing strong (or in straight to the point punya bahasa, until my financing problem get settle), I will not indulge in any kind of social and relax activities macam tengok wayang, jumpa orang, pegi orang kahwin. Not, until I'm having much cash in my hand and I really don't know where to spend the cash.<br /><br />P/S : My life philosophy for the moment is money are something very important that can shape my social activities and whereabouts. LoL.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-18160574069437426992012-06-10T00:00:00.000+08:002012-06-10T00:00:01.579+08:00Definitely Not Afraid of People!<div style="text-align: justify;">I certainly have problem. With people around. Hey, I'm not saying I am Antropophobia, I still can mingle with people, but the problem is I dont want to linger around them. It's like having a one night stand, at the end of the what ever you was doing, you just want to go out and put on your clothes and rush to nearest exit door without saying goodbye or even kiss, if the analogy is quite right.<br /><br />The ironic thing is, where I try to love social gathering, whenever I was in the gathering, I never like how it feel. It always feel like oh no my clothes, my hair, my everything is not in the right place. Something just not right, even if I do make myself prepare for it, but I think it often comes dysfunctional (in my mind, at least), which I cannot point finger at.<br /><br />Sometimes, I do feel I want to go have fun with friends, because it do feel bored being alone, but whenever I got the chances to have fun with friends, I just want to eat and after that, my hearts linger on being with myself only, as I think I feel happier alone then with friends.<br /><br />Well, I think I would try to change that.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-7468152642521736952012-05-22T00:00:00.001+08:002012-05-22T00:00:01.023+08:00How Hard It Is To Make A Decision?<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 100%; font-family: Georgia, serif; ">What if you can start all over again? But in order to start again, you have to reset everything that you have right now. I'm in dilemma right now. I didn't know I was so lucky, but I got the post I interviewed for. Eh, I didn't tell you what kan.LoL.</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;font-family: Georgia, serif; font-size: 100%; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; "><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span ><span style="font-size: 100%;">Anyway, I've been offered a new job, but slightly lower salaries than what I got now. It's Government Post, or more exactly </span>statutory<span style="font-size: 100%;"> bodies. A job in gov. is like a dream come true for every average person like me.(Well, someone with hi fly achievement maybe go something bigger than it is, well depends). Most of my colleague are encouraging me to go, but I didn't know what should I do. </span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span >What if I cannot cope with the work? Will I be able to handle a new kind of pressure? My work is kinda laid-back right now, but still, I need something just to refresh my myself, and tell my brain that he needs to exercise. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span ><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span >I still dont know. Maybe I will go. </span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-53944030422365934922012-04-12T00:03:00.002+08:002012-04-12T00:32:36.963+08:00Seeing Yourself!<div style="text-align: justify;">Kita selalu dengar ungkapan klise ini, cerminlah dulu diri sendiri sebelum mula nak mengutuk/mengata seseorang. Atau ada juga yang mengatakan sebelum mengatakan sesuatu yang buruk pada orang lain, lihatlah cermin dulu, mana tahu ada ternampak kekurangan anda di sana sini, cuba perbaiki dahulu. Lebih kuranglah ayatnya. Memang betul pun kan always di dengar?<br /><br />But the truth is, cermin atau dalam bahasa londonnya mirror nowdays sudah tak boleh dipercayai lagi. Cermin pun sudah pandai menipu diri anda. Sudah menjadi cermin sakti permaisuri jahat yang cuba membunuh Snow White. Tak percaya? Cuba lihat berapa ramai mereka-mereka di mukabuku yang bergambar di hadapan cermin. Mostly believe that they look good on mirror. Even orang yang menulis ni pun percaya (lol!). Cermin di masa sekarang hanya menunjukkan rupa yang indah, wajah yang tampan dan diri yang hebat, jadi bagaimana pula hendak mencari kekurangan diri dengan melihat ke dalam cermin?<br /><br />It happens to me one day. Secara tidak terfikir pun oleh akal. Saya terswitch my laptop punya webcam and I didn't know it was on. So there it was, recording everything that I do, for the whole night. The next day, baru realize I was ala-ala mcm dlm candid camera rancangan realiti MTV when I see back what was recorded. The result was, is that me??? I didnt think that I walk, the way I behave was the way that I see on the screen. Seriously, is that what people see of me when they saw me?<br /><br />Ok, i need to do that more, supaya boleh perbaiki mana-mana yang which I think ridiculous. Mungkin sekarang rakaman is something that I believe cannot lie berbanding cermin. Tapi, dunia semakin cepat bergerak, maybe I was wayyyyyyy behind since semua orang dah comfortable depan camera, I still need time to adjust myself.<br /><br />Merapu-rapu setelah lama tidak merepek di sini. LoL.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-74220029513727306792012-03-18T01:25:00.002+08:002012-03-18T01:37:08.220+08:00Tidak Suka/Selangkah ke Belakang!<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 100%; ">Acap kali kita dengar orang tak suka itu, tak suka ini. Saya pun sama. Saya tak suka itu, saya tak suka someone that is sooo positive and he/she try to infect us with the positivity, dalam tak sengaja cuba merendahkan kita yang kononnya hidupnya oh so well intact. Ok, itu hanya satu contoh perkara yang aku tidak suka. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Tidak suka bukan bermakna anda benci. Benci, satu perkara yang dahsyat. Sementelahan pula, apabila benci, kita sanggup berdendam dan melakukan apa saja demi kepuasan nafsu hati kita. Tidak suka is more likely that someday, after we experienced it, or even know it, we might be suka. Sebab itu ada peribahasa melayu kata, tak kenal maka tak cinta. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Pada masa sekarang, saya cuba untuk mengatakan saya ada banyak benda yang saya tidak suka. Antaranya ialah, buat masa sekarang, saya terpaksa mengambil satu langkah ke belakang. It's not that easy, especially when everyone thinks of you as the most likely to be successful in life. Kadang-kadang kita terfikir, mungkin lebih baik menjadi mereka yang tidak diletakkan harapan. Itulah, walaupun tidak suka, namun ia bukan bermakna saya putus asa dengan kehidupan. I might have share of ups and downs in my life, but giving up on my life when I'm still living is not the option.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Owh, saya sudah lama tiada update. Jadi, apakah benda yang anda tidak suka?</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-29697328822807123942012-02-25T00:00:00.000+08:002012-02-25T00:00:13.582+08:00Rawatan Diam!<div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 100%; ">Selalunya, saya suka memendam apa yang ada dalam hati. Saya suka buat sesuatu yang it's not that too loud so that people remember, but more likely makan dalam punya benda. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Ok, susulan keterlepasan minggu-minggu yang sudah, saya menjalankan aktiviti 'rawatan diam'. Saya tidak lagi menegur dia yang dipilih. Saya buat-buat tak nampak dia. Everytime dia ada di dalam, saya tidak akan menegur dia.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Surprise, surprise. I think it's working. Dia seperti rasa ada sesuatu yang tak kena. Tapi, sekarang dia macam kembali kepada yang itu. Hmm, tidak mengapa. Mungkin kami tiada persamaan dan kami tidak sesuai berkawan. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-42470966474869662652012-02-06T00:00:00.001+08:002012-02-06T00:00:05.807+08:00Perhubungan Itu Adalah Kompleks!<div style="text-align: justify;">Perhubungan itu sesuatu yang sangat kompleks. Emosi, perasaan dan fikiran semuanya bergabung, dan gabungan kesemuanya itu menghasilkan satu ke'kompleks' an yang kadang kala bisa membuat fikiran menjadi bingung.<br /><br />Orang kata menjalin perhubungan itu mudah. Semudah membuka akaun facebook. Rasa-rasanya lebih susah nak buka facebook kot. Anyway, I'm not going to go further into the other relationship. My only thing is about the relationship. Ala, you know that special relationship. If your relationship doesn't work, would you still be friend with the person? For me, I dont know. My last relationship ended so bad, having me to break all ties with the person, and it does make me think that when the special relationship ended, we just dont want to relive the pain inside the heart, so it will be best not to be friend with the person. Tak semua orang boleh jadi macam Ted Mosby dan Robin Scherbatsky<span style="text-decoration: underline;"></span>.Saya teringat kata kata Ben F, bila Ashley reject dia untuk memilih bersama J.P dalam The Bachelorette...<span style="font-style: italic;">You can’t leave something like this on good terms… Good things don’t end unless they end badly.</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span>Ok. I still linger from the almost happen relationship. It feels weird eh, when you know you actually like someone when that someone tell you that dia likes someone else. Then tiba-tiba perasaan yang lain muncul. Macam I kata on post before this, I need that one making a move on me. If I dont get the sign, maybe I wont make a move. Dan, suck, I still friend with that person. But, perasaan saya dengan dia sudah kurang. Entahlah. <span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><br />Itulah. Kompleksnya perhubungan. Dan post ini memang takde kesinambungan dalam perenggannya. LoL.<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-35847920006068569972012-01-24T03:24:00.002+08:002012-01-24T03:30:43.859+08:00Vulnerable!<div style="text-align: justify;">I think I am vulnerable. I didnt know where can I luahkan my feelings, I can't put it on my FB, nanti that person will now. I dont know why I feel sad, when I should be happy that I help both of them together. Please help me, God. My heart macam ditebak dengan jarum. Kecil, namun tetap ada kesannya. Macam yang dikatakan. Kepastian itu sangat penting. Namun bila kepastian tu tiada, I wont make a move. A little bit sad.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-27880495396083533642012-01-22T00:00:00.000+08:002012-01-22T00:00:01.164+08:00Terlepas!<div style="text-align: justify;">I always missing something. Waiting outside the line, and never make a slightly move. I was trying to be as neutral as I could be, but why when the apple been picked, I do feel something is urging?<br /><br />It feels like a curse. I have to wait because I need certainty. Now, yang lain pula dapat. Oh. Aku yang bernasib malang, sentiasa dapat the role of the best friend. Owh, aku terlepas lagi.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-43960511393249731322012-01-14T23:28:00.005+08:002012-01-15T02:00:51.334+08:00Aku dan People!<div style="text-align: justify;">People come, and people go. I've had meet people in all shapes of life and forms, thank god, most of them were pretty nice. But to be precise, I always had trouble putting someone in my good book. Secara jujurnya, saya cemburu pada anda yang mempunyai kawan-kawan yang boleh diharapkan. Saya sebenarnya suka bercakap dan berbual. Seriously, I like to talk, and most people talk about their problem with me kadang-kadang, I will always be their unqualified counsellor. But now as usual, they're not with me anymore.<br /><br />I am actually love to be clinging person. Bila ada masalah jer, even as small as demam, I can call anyone to help me go to the clinic. Sadly, most of the things I have done myself. Being a tough one sangat susah, nasiblah terpaksa, kalau tak macam mana nak hidup kan? (Tapi apa pasal aku tengok someone tu seronok jer ada kawan. Hidupnya tak pernah sunyi)<br /><br />I realized most of the time it was hard for me to make friends these days. How can I know me and that person are totally compatible for friendship? Mostly based on the conversation. If me and dia and sesiapapun senang berbual, that's mean we can be friends. But, if you look snobbish or macam tak nak layan jer, that's it.<br /><br />I still believe I do have that dreaded curse. I dont know, everytime there's someone coming in my life, and bila semakin rapat, dan rapat, somehow series of unfortunate events happened, we drifted apart. Banyak. I dont know whether I can reconnect with them.<br /><br /><br />p/s Another one is going to be close to me. Tak tau la adakah the dreaded curse will fall on the person juga. :)<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-20688481668844267832012-01-09T04:02:00.002+08:002012-01-09T04:10:14.828+08:00Sleeping Trouble!<div style="text-align: justify;">Lately, I have trouble with my sleep. Sekarang, it took me looong way to get to sleep, especially at night. I dont know. Maybe I've got banyak sangat benda dalam fikiran. Yes, I can hide it with a smile, but eventually diri sendiri tahu di mana fikiran kita menerawang. Now at 4 am in the morning, I still can't get any sleep, which is something that bothering me. And in the weekend and holidays, my sleep selalu lama, I ended up waking up 3 - 4 pm, and my body is tired. I dont know. Tidur lebih ker, tidur kurang ker, I still feel tired.<br /><br />Last night, I was sleeping on my lappie, tak sangka boleh tertidur, which is weird for me, as I dont do any athletic things that require me to sweat. Ok, maybe it's just a phase. I need a good sleep. with a sweet dreams, not a beautiful nightmare, as it tiring me out.<br /><br /><br />p/s Thanks to all of you.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-50092465642990920472012-01-02T03:09:00.004+08:002012-01-02T03:25:32.490+08:00Kekecewaan Di Dalam Hati!<div style="text-align: justify;">Dari dahulu sampai sekarang, saya tak pernah berani untuk melakukan sebarang perubahan. Why fix if it aint broken, right? Saya cukup takutkan perubahan. Saya tak mahu apabila saya berubah, saya dapat yang lebih teruk daripada apa yang saya ada sekarang. Orang kata sungguh senang, berubah lebih baik katanya daripada langsung tiada perubahan. Tapi bila kita sudah berubah, dan ternyata pilihan perubahan itu mendatangkan keburukan, orang yang bercakap itu pasti sudah tiada bila kita mengharapkan sokongannya.<br /><br />Kerja memang bosan. Tapi saya tak mahu mencari yang lain. Lagipun bukan senang untuk menjalani proses itu semula. Ianya meletihkan. Apatah lagi kita tiada kemahiran khusus. Ada kalanya kita menjadi takut untuk bertukar ke territori yang lain, kerana kita tidak tahu bagaimana orang lain menerima kita sedangkan kita selesa di dalam lingkungan orang yang sudah tahu bagaimana kita dan mereka menerimanya.<br /><br />Kadang-kadang terasa diri seperti Susan Mayer. Semua perkara dilakukan pasti akhirnya berkecamuk dan mendatangkan masalah. Segala kebaikan yang dilakukan bagaikan tidak dipedulikan. Masih tersisih. Saya mencari kawan yang sentiasa ada bila saya ingin meluahkan sesuatu. Tapi saya tidak tahu apa masalah saya sehingga kebanyakan mereka menyisihkan saya, dan saya terus bersendirian. Saya selesa bersendirian, kerana saya takut apabila ada orang menjadi kawan saya, dia akan kecewakan saya. Dan hari ini saya kecewa lagi. Teramat kecewa bila saya akhirnya menjadi mangsa sisihan. Itu sentiasa berlaku dari dulu lagi bukan? Mungkin benar saya ini tidak sesuai berkawan dengan sesiapapun.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-33113460048532460932011-12-26T08:00:00.001+08:002011-12-26T08:00:01.740+08:00Menahan Diri!<div style="text-align: justify;">Menahan diri. Kita selalu cuba menahan diri dari melakukan benda-benda yang sepatutnya tidak kita lakukan. Kita banyak menegah diri kita dari melakukan itu, membuat ini, semuanya agar kita dapat membina satu pandangan yang kondusif terhadap diri kita. Namun, ada kala walaupun kita berusaha menahan diri, masih juga tidak dapat mengawal sekelumit nafsu yang masih ada. Bak kata pepatah (adaker), sekecil nafsu boleh menewaskan segerombolan manusia. Walau bagaimanapun, bila terbiasa menahan diri, ia bagaikan satu kebiasaan. Kebiasaan yang membentuk warna seseorang.<br /><br /><br />By the way, we only have a week this year. And I can conclude that this year was totally a bad year. I guess God want to punish me to be poor. I hope it doesnt continue till next year.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-28986390735971586552011-12-14T23:00:00.002+08:002011-12-14T23:00:15.283+08:00Aduh Nobita!<div style="text-align: justify;">Sungguh malang nasib Nobita. Dapat keluarga yang semuanya tidak boleh. Mau beli itu, tak boleh. Hendak minta tolong ini, diserakah balik Ibu Nobita yang garang. Kasihan Nobita. Bila Suneo selalu menunjuk bahawa keluarganya sentiasa beri apa yang dia mahukan, Nobita hanya telan air liur. Dan berlari sambil menangis menuju ke arah Doraemon sambil memujuk supaya Doraemon mengeluarkan sesuatu dari kantung 4 dimensinya agar hatinya kembali ceria.<br /><br />Acapkali bila keluarga Suneo pergi melancong, Nobita hanya senyum, menahan gundah di hati. Sekali lagi malang Nobita, bila sahaja dia suarakan keinginannya mahu pergi melancong bersama keluarga, tinggi sekali suara Ibu Nobita membantah. Tak ada gunanya katanya. Membazir. Apabila Suneo ada permainan baru dan canggih, Nobita hanya gigit jari. Minta dengan Ibu Nobita, sorry, menangis tak berlagu lah dimarahi beliau. Nasib baik ada Doraemon.<br /><br />Namun, apabila Doraemon tiada di sisi, bagaimanakah kehidupan Nobita? Sentiasa di rundung duka. Dalam hati Nobita mungkin tertanya-tanya, mengapakah dia berada di keluarga yang sekarang? Mungkin lebih baik dia dilahirkan dalam keluarga Suneo. Nobita merasa sangat kecewa. Nobita cuma meminta tolong, tapi apa yang dia dapat? Penolakan dan rejeksi. Keluarga apa yang bila pertolongan diperlukan langsung tidak mahu memberi bantuan????<br /><br />Biarlah. Kasihan Nobita. Mendapat keluarga yang tidak faham apa dia mahu. Dan pasti bila tiada terluah, berbuku di hati menjadi dendam.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-37671394068298595602011-12-02T23:00:00.002+08:002011-12-03T19:45:35.253+08:00Sudut Pengharapan!<div style="text-align: center; font-style: italic;">Aku sedar bukan mudah<br />Untuk mengejar mimpi indah<br />Pernah suatu ketika<br />Dulu kupunya harapan besar<br />Kini aku tak pasti<br />Dapatkah ku miliki<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />Kadang-kadang, bila kita mengharap benar sesuatu, apabila ianya tidak benar-benar mencapai at least the minimum target, kita pasti berasa sedikit kecewa. Meskipun sudah kita semaikan di hati kita, jangan terlalu mengharap, besederhana dalam pengharapan, tetapi hati itu bukan mudah untuk dipujuk. Jauh di satu sudut yang terpendam, harapan yang tinggi itu masih ada. Cuma mungkin apabila kita berjaya memperosokkan perasaan tersebut, maka luka kecewa yang ada tidaklah terlalu dalam. Masih kecewa, tapi sedikit.<br /><br /><br />Apa harapan saya sebenarnya? Biarlah dipendam. Cuma apa yang saya boleh bagi tau adalah saya benchmarkkan seseorang sebagai the greatest desire I want to be.<br /><br /><br />P/S Dulu saya pernah tulis di<a href="http://zaphenz.blogspot.com/2009/12/harapan-di-dalam-kotak-pandora.html"> sini</a>, malah pernah berkata bahawa hope, when you dont know, is the best lie in the world. Memang. Masih lagi saya berfikiran yang sama.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23050232.post-34569352183954078372011-11-28T00:00:00.000+08:002011-11-28T00:00:00.396+08:00Jadilah Diri Sendiri!<div style="text-align: justify;">Ada ramai di dunia yang indah ini suka kata jadilah diri sendiri. Be who you are. Memang, diakui harus menjadi diri sendiri, bukan sesiapa pun. Kadang-kadang menjadi diri sendiri susah. Bergantung kepada apa yang anda mahu. Kalau anda jadi diri sendiri seadanya, dan masih ramai yang menyukai anda, tahniah! Anda mungkin antara mereka yang hidupnya oh so glamorous intrend!!<br /><br />Tapi apa pula berlaku jika anda jadi diri sendiri seadanya, dan orang masih tak suka? Wouldnt it be right to change the whole everything? I bet most of you akan kata lantaklah, peduli apa orang lain. Which I believe, orang yang kata macam itu adalah mereka yang tergolong dalam golongan yang disebutkan dalam perenggan pertama itu. Dan tidak ramai yang berada dalam golongan kedua yang lebih awkward, sedikit terasing dari orang yang biasa.<br /><br />Bila kita nampak orang lain lebih baik, sudah tentu ada rasa cemburu. Dan kita bertanya kenapa dia menjadi diri sendiri, dan disukai semua orang. Rasa cemburu tiada salah, asalkan kita tidak melakukan apa-apa yang tidak sesuai untuk melampiaskan rasa itu. Menjadi diri sendiri dengan berubah mengikut keadaan, itulah yang cuba dilakukan.<br /><br />P/S Nampaknya, Blake sudah keluar dari list, dan I'm welcoming Damian(subject to change accordingly) to replace Blake. Whatever it is :)<br /><br /><br /><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4