Monday, May 03, 2010

What I Realize This Time!

It's been a week since I came back from the otherside. I just love it. Even it is exhausting and tired, but I feel that I can do that for more weeks :). Then I just realize that this is something that I love to do. I always been thinking, why I didn't have any passion in any particular things? Yeah, some people study hard so they become doctors, and other people like cars so much, that they want to be engineers. I kinda blurr whenever I try to think what was my passion. 

But , a week in the otherside made me realize something. I want to be part of something big, and surround by lots of people. Back in the office, I feel some loneliness, and back to here makes me have to be lonely again. At the otherside, I dont have time to think about loneliness, as plenty as I am tonight. Maybe that was the cure. I realize this time, if I been busy with work, maybe I can forget anything that makes me sad, or empty. It's not that I dont like my work, it's been a pleasure working there, but office works is something tad not so busy as the otherside's works. I've been procrastinating whole time. Like, you dont type memo for the whole day right? 

Having said that, I will not resign. A not so wise move. I just dont think if I resign, any company will ever hired me. I'm not as competent or as marketable as "budak kecik" or everyone. Yes, I just realize that I always degrading myself. My good colleague and supervisor tell me so. Well, I am guilty, but I can't help feeling like I can't do nothing good. The best way is just stay there, at least I have my medical problems covered and I dont have to be worried the company will fire me unless I do something WRONG that makes the company loses its credibility.

I also realize that, what worries me much is my financial health. I am not sooo materialistic, but without cash, I just can't help myself. There was a time, when I thinking that, if I have a car, and it brokes on the road, who am I going to call?? Probably not my friend. I dont have any friend that wiling to help me. (Maybe I'm just assuming).So having good financial can assure my mind bout simple silly thing like this. I should take part time job , eh?


Last but not least, I realize this time I have to make some changes. Again.

3 orang telah memberi komen yang sengal!:

ashraf said...

first:who is budak kecik?

second: u hate loneliness? thn go out with me :)

third: u're afraid of ur car will break down? if ur car broke down call auto assistant laa... that's y don't buy 2ndhand cars :)

lastly: i mish u and i wnt more updates from the other side of Malaysia please :))

ashraf said...

:'(

buat laah ... invite ur best buddies tgk glee sesama :))

ashraf said...

xde tv guna lappie je :)

 
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