I CAN'T SHOW THE REAL ME.................



Welcome to the greatest show
Greatest show on earth
You've never seen before
Here the fairytale unfolds



hmm.....i see two of them talking.....i never understand anything that they say...they speak in their native language......apa yang aku mengarut plak ni......sebenarnya.....member aku si K dan S ni tengah cakap sesuatu ...pasal problem si K tula....ini pun mengikut kefahaman aku la....sebab aku ader sket faham ..........bukannya dorang mengumpat aku ke kutuk aku ke..cuma i think itu cuma luahan perasaan jer.....

then when i saw them talking to each other...suddenly i think...and feel ......i've never show any of emotional wreck ....stuff of my personal problems.........to them...i am quite a mysterious person...you can hear my laughing all the way from the back of the corner...but you never heard me cry..or me being serious or express my feeling or anything like that........i think this is why i've never actually been adsorb to this friendship....i can't show what i'm feeling in front of them ..and i have to act like a clown just to hide my feeling...........in my heart i know i have something to be express but i don't know how i can do that.........


What's behind the smoke and glass?
Painted faces, everybody wears a mask
Are you selling them your soul?
Well you'll be left out in the cold


...all you've seen is me..being happy and funny...but you never know what i feel really .............i can't never trust anyone...even my own friends................i just believe in myself......there's so much inside me that it really want to burst out.....but till now...i'm hanging by the moment.....being mysterious and secretive .......and showing a happy mask everytime is not an easy task....i force myself

Is it all blue skies
Fun and games until you fall
Then you're left without anyone at all
You're riding on a shooting star
With a smile upon your face
But soon the shine fades


K actually pernah express his feeling.....his love life...and everything to me...........he trusted me...and i know that being his friend.....he can always have me whenever he downs..........but me?...............i never done the same thing to him.................he never know i'm...................and he never know the real me...what kind a person i am..........for him and any other...i'm just a funny, non serious type of guy who always bitching bout the lecturer and anything.............they don't know......the real me........i can't show them!!!

And you're left out all alone
Wondering where did they all go?


i don't know how to open myself up to them...it's just that i want to tell them..but in reality i really don't wanna tell them....as a result...i spent time alone..just with me, myself and i
that's why sometimes i feel invincible and being left out by them..i'm not a good friend....and i really want to do something really baaaad to them........but i know i can't do that.................


Been jaded, hated,
Who'll be around when the limelight's faded?
Been shut down, pushed out
Made to smile when I wanted to frown

and you see what i'm writing here....?...i think you will be confius ....beacause i actually want to express something here ...but i don't know how to do it with words...........and really for me to do this kind of thing its quite scarry at first.......coz i don't want any of my closest friends here reads what ever rambling i'm talking bout............yeah......i've been thinking too much........maybe i've acted like a children in front of my friends...but the truth is i'm mature and my thinking sometimes go deep inside the heart......i guess they'll never seen the other side of me that was the real me....................................

Always taking a bow
Always working the crowd
Always breaking new ground
Always playing the clown
Who'll be sticking it out?
Who'll be staying around
When the lights go down?

i don't know why i can't trust my friend..........maybe i want the the right friends to tell what i really feel.....it's hard to express this......there's so many things that you don't know about me.......and being open is the least that i want to do..............

i'm going to lay back down tonite.................i need to recharge myself from being down....because tomorrow......i have to put the happy mask with the happy go lucky personality of mine......

i just can't show the real me.......................